What a guy says about his exes can reveal all of the above. He's domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered. It sounds like every red flag issue is just blamed on her mental health issues. Dont date a dweller. If he completely discredits her and convinces you to ignore everything she could ever say about their time together, he has total control over what you think about him as a boyfriend. or situations/content involving minors. Its difficult to offer any further advice/thoughts until i understand more about the lease in particular and other questions. This is a very disrespectful and mean thing to say. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Steer clear (way clear). We need to be with a partner who lives with us in the here and now. Money? That's a pretty dangerous road to go down. What happens? But what we DO choose is how we react to our feelings. He wanted nothing to do with her, he hated her, never wanted to talk to her. . Ask him to do what you do. You need to get as far away, as fast as you can. March 14, 2014, 1:46 pm. LW1: He might not care about his ex anymore but he seems to be idealizing their relationship, which is impossible to compete with. iwannatalktosampson If instead of considering you to be unique he considers you to be a carbon copy of his ex, steer clear. 2022 will be known as the stupidest time in human history. We need to take a deep breath and realize that, yup, this is what he means. I try my best not to think about it and just. He's twelve years older (I'm 22, he's 34), handsome, successful. I had a horrendous realization recently: I look a lot like my boyfriend's ex. Would we rather they dislike them or be friends with them? 5. Did I tell you about how Moose likes to eat his poo? When we try to make future plans, whether we want to plan a vacation or talk about moving in together, we don't want to hear from our boyfriend, "That's too far away.". And once she got back together with them, it went south in spectacular fashion. Does he owe her loyalty? It should go without saying that secrets shared between partners are sensitive information, and don't deserve to be shared with the world no matter how badly a relationship ends. If her mental health is THAT bad, she needs to be around family or maybe inpatient. Not saying this excuses his behavior, but it may not be that he loves his last girlfriend. He could also be hopeful that what he says will inspire you to do what he liked his ex to do, but come on. We could have thought that he was the sweetest, cutest, funniest person up until this point. Maybe he calls her crazy because he needs to think of a way to insult her so he can feel better about not being with her anymore. So true, I have a friend who has had a couple loves of her life (thank goodness she didnt marry any of them), but it was always some unrequited love interest that kept her from moving on, or someone she for some reason just couldnt work things out with. "Some guys have physically broken up, yet haven't emotionally let go and they stay connected through conflict," she said. Threatening to break up with someone is never a good idea. Oh I dont know about this. She thinks that kind of dependence on an ex's social media activity is a bad sign, especially if they use socials to communicate. 2. March 14, 2014, 10:35 am. It's truly all over when he says this kind of thing. NBC. We all deserve to be with someone who supports our hopes and dreams and goals, and someone who wants the best for us. Maybe he's exaggerating, and it's true that he really didn't love her as much as he feels like he loves his new girlfriend. When lover boy heard himself utter those dulcet love expressions, he feared you'd own his manhood! I know, I know. He is just a feeding source for this horrible person. March 14, 2014, 10:34 am. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. How he deals (or doesn't) with this is likely how he will handle issues that arise in your relationship and lives in the future - ask yourself, are you OK with that? My boyfriend asked for a paternity test for our child. All I keep hearing his when I called his mom that day and she told me she found him on the floor dead. You would accept that as normal? Sure, walk if you dont like that hes bitter but not because shes not #1. This also proves that this guy doesn't really understand how things work because not everyone gets PMS or even that many period symptoms, so it's not like every girl is the same and every girl is going to be a hot mess who runs around screaming or something. Long-distance? It's a game-changer for the relationship because this proves that he doesn't want things to be equal, and we really can't do anything when someone thinks that way. Unfortunately the family thing isnt an option, as they already kicked her out years ago. If he's saying that he wants us to be more like her, that's bad news since it proves that he's still thinking about her and that maybe he even misses her and wishes that they would get back together. For example, if your partner appears. If he starts to lash out you even more, break up with him in a calmly matter. It shows that he's still hung up on her and that he just can't let go. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry -- it was a woman's domain. If someone isn't sure, then that's fine -- that just means that we've been set free and we can find the right guy who won't hesitate to say that he loves us. You can rely on him. Maybe he quit his job when we live together and need his half of the rent to make ends meet, so he really should have found another position first or at least talked to us first. With facts like hers, its seems really plausible. 34. nessy I\'m in a situation with an annoying ex and been losing trust in him.feels like the relationship is making me more unhappy than happy now. "Don't go into [very personal]details about your exes," she advises boyfriends everywhere. LW3: WWS how do you know this is forever if youre sexually incompatible? If your guy is blabbing about his ex's personal issues, he is not that person for you. If he generally keeps in touch with her, that can mean that they ended things on good terms and are mature enough to still respect each other - but if he keeps talking to her EVERY SINGLE DAY, that can mean that the boundaries between them aren't as strong as they should be for him to establish a tight relationship with someone new. (Also, needing to reassure him that you wont cheat on him is red flag #2). February 1st, 2015 at 9:57 PM. He does. Oh man. While there's always a chance he could be putting on a. Website for moms seeking advice, community, and entertainment. Date someone who wants to spend time with you on a consistent basis. But, honestly, if he keeps saying sorry and shows no initiative, interest, or desire to please you, no matter how much you ask him to, you might want to consider that whole forever thing. Caring about yourself has to be a selfish act. This should be obvious. Relationships are a two-way street. Doordash is good, especially in large cities, but its not a reliable primary source of income. We're grown adults and can pick out our own outfits, and it shows that he isn't the kind of person that we want to be with. 10 Gifts To Shop For Your Best Friends Birthday, 20 Things Her Boyfriend Says About His Ex That Are Red Flags, 10 Must-Have Products From Paula's Choice Skincare Line, 10 Ways To Disconnect From Work & Wind Down At The End Of The Day, 10 Ways To Spend A Peaceful Saturday With Yourself, Remembering Pop Culture Icon & Philanthropist, Olivia Newton-John, 10 Ways To Take A Productive Break From Work & Summon Focus, 10 Moves To Target Your Lower Abs & Feel The Burn, 10 Things To Do Before Ending Your Workday & Transitioning Into Personal Time, 10 Of The Best Home Decor Items On Amazon, 10 Reasons To Add A Light Weight To Your Workouts, 10 Ways To Eat More Plant-Based This Summer, 10 Ways To Deal With Going Back To The Office, 10 Tips To Sleep Better On A Hot Summer Night, 10 Books Becoming Movies Being Released This Year. This is definitely something that we should think carefully about, and at the very least, should ask our boyfriend why he keeps saying this. can you just open your mouth and explain what you actually want? Being with him will totally be worth the wait and will make all of the struggles worth it. "You arent getting all of him. Secondly, it tells me that hes stuck in the past. Addie Pray 30 Wanda Hutchinson took a few classes in life 3 y Related If he feels that it's too far away to make any concrete plans, that should say everything about where his head is at in terms of the relationship. This kind of talk could lead to him wanting to know where we're going and who we're with at all times, and that's definitely not a good situation for us to be in. His mistake is the more obvious one: It is deeply fucked that your boyfriend said his ex is more attractive than you. March 14, 2014, 1:23 pm. Thank you because you are the first one who broke my heart but it's okay because my. People always say that married couples should never bring up the d-word (aka "divorce") in arguments or even when one of them is supposedly joking because that can cause really big problems and hurt feelings. It's easy to think that if our boyfriend tells us that either he doesn't believe in marriage or he doesn't want to get married that he's going to change his mind. He also might have issues with attachment and manipulation. Others want to wait a year or two or even more. But, there are a lot of things that I've let slide at the beginning because I wanted some peace in my life. Loyal? Addie Pray If that's the case, it's only a matter of time before that's exactly what happens. Not exactly The Notebook. If he can't handle your hustle, that's his problem - not yours. LW1: after a year, he might not feel as intense and deep a love for you that he felt for his ex; and as Wendy says, that doesnt mean its impossible for that love to grow. I need to change his diet. Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. Well, I have a hard time imaging what else would keep those guys away. I also think its possible that hes not still in love with his ex but fights dirty. See if yall can point her in the direction of getting on disability or something like that if she doesnt want to get a full time, or even part time job. Serving up the hottest food trends and the inside scoop on restaurants worldwide. I might delete this if it gets popular. As I was reading this comment the post got deleted. Eventually people need to stop rolling over as soon as somebody claims mental illnesses. Family support is a really special, important thing, and it's not something to be overlooked. Why? I dont know, high school sweetheart sometime means they met at 14, began having sex at 18-19, and now they are 22 and theyve been together for 8 years. I get that you want to likely be respectful and understanding, but this isn't a 'normal' situation. He should understand that we're going to wait on him hand and foot and that it's not the 1950's anymore. Oh come on, Mark, LW3 has had only 8 years of bad sex. In my mind, the love of my life is the love I want to spend my life with, so I dont really get assigning that moniker to an ex. I am so heartbroken. Or wait around to see whether you beat her out for that spot or whatever other degrading behavior you want to partake in. Generally speaking, when I have a client that comes to me saying "My ex boyfriend is avoiding me and I have no idea what to do," it's often because some mistakes were made. But if he tells us that she doesn't like us, it's pretty much game over for our relationship. But also I dont think its a race, or first place or second place. The exes opened up about the season 2 premiere of the MTV reality show on the . "They were basically forced to sign a new lease.." HUH?! Maybe she betrayed his trust and hooked up with one of his friends. March 14, 2014, 12:17 pm, Addie Pray That might sound drastic, but it's a really terrible thing to say to someone. Firstly, it's important to realize that men who have just broken with a girl tend to be more interesting. I've been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years now. This. And that'll create a really negative, toxic environment within the relationship, which never leads to anything good. All of them. Some guys really do want girlfriends. As soon as the results come and show he is the father, I'm leaving him. You're shocked, hurt, angry, confused, and maybe even lost. Please feel free to reach out for a shoulder or ear, OP, and keep us updated so we know you are oK. Are we proud to introduce him to our family and friends and invite him to events, parties, and holidays? With the heart, as with the bowels, number two is not a good thing to be. should not be attached to a timeline of 8 YEARS. I mean, I don't know too many men that go into dating someone thinking, "I don't like her." Throughout your time together he probably told you, He loved you We definitely tend to think, "Oh, he's not serious" or "He doesn't know us well enough and once he gets to know us, he'll fall madly in love with us and everything will be perfect." I get it, some days are really fucking hard and you dont want to do anything. Should I Tell My Boyfriend About My Debt?. He calls her crazy It is hard to compete with someone else. I also have bipolar and trauma stuff, which is why I was trying to be sympathetic. It just might not be what we want to hear. Not even a little bit. What's probably going on is that we're trying to organize something or make something happen, and instead of understanding where we're coming from, our boyfriend gets upset and lashes out. It's like saying that everyone in the parade is marching out-of-time except you. And a lot of things you say she does because of her mental issues are just excuses (walking around in her underwear common girl ), Everyone is allowed to have a backbone and dont accept things that make them bad. 1. March 14, 2014, 1:40 pm. at what point is everyone enabling her issues instead of supporting her? ! 54. Hung up on the things his ex did? If he says she lies, ask him if he felt that way when they started dating, or if you can ever meet her and see for yourself.
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